One Down, One to Go

I was not looking forward to pizza tonight and it didn't disappoint me. It was a crap night, but at least I got some pizza stories. The first is that as you might not know. As the pizza man I'm right there with Santa Claus. Kids go nuts when I come to the door. However tonight they were beat hands down by a dog at this one house. He was jumping at the window, jumping at the door. I'm not talking of bouncing. He was leaving the ground by at least a foot. I thought they were going to have to tranquilize him to open the door. Instead they put him in the garage.

Now hopefully we've all paid for a meal at a restaurant with a credit card. You know there is a line for the tip. We'll we have that also. This can be problematic since many people I deliver to can't do math to save their lives and I'm depending on their math skills to get a tip. Now you might think hey they'll make a mistake and tip big. Not on your life. They use REALLY small numbers then or just stiff to make it easier. Usually you can tell by how long they are taking if they are going to tip. Unless you get one of these cheap jerk wads who take forever to fill it out to stiff you. Their actually going over it a bunch of times so that their is NO mistake that you're getting NOTHING. Choke on the crust you cheap bastards.

As always I have to save the best for last. I'm driving to a church to deliver pizzas. I'm sitting at the light and I can see the word "Satan" in big letters on this person's trunk up ahead. Now I'm intrigued. I know I live in the Bible belt, but I rarely see Satan in big letters on any one's car. So I want to know what it fully says. With some maneuvering I get a clear look. "All women are Satan!" I LMAO. This guy must of had some divorce.

I tell you I'm already deleting what I have learned here. My first order I was like where is this road. Someplace I've been many times before.