Spa girl just stopped by and we chatted and I treated her. I understood Annie's comment:
That is too bad about Spa Girl, Mike. If you truly have feelings for her (want a romantic relationship), then RUN. She will break your heart as a 'friend' and it won't change - trust me on this one. It'll just be a torment to you why you think this gorgeous girl doesn't appreciate you...
I could feel the pain if we stayed friends and it didn't progress. I know she is 3 years behind me in the whole process thing and that still doesn't seem to matter. I'm doing well in not trying to save her which is a big defect of mine. The second is always putting two much energy into things that don't help me. Over the past 2-3 weeks I've gotten better in the area of work with this which is huge for me. However in relationships I've had little practice over the last few years so I see this as my new lesson. So I will see how things go for a little while with Spa girl. My belief is that the friend comment was more of a security thing to see if I was a bump and would run or if I was in it for the long haul. If I see we are truly going for the friends route then I need to limit my energy in to this endeavor. Since I'm happy for the friendship, but it's not helping me with a relationship.
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Too Much Swag and Sadness
3 months ago
3 people had cathartic therapy:
I hear you. It is kind of tricky trying to be friends with someone one is attracted to. But I agree, I think you need to wait it out a bit and see what she wants (really wants) and then decide whatever is best for you. there are always lessons to be learned, so why not take advantage of the learning inducing situation and get that over with, right?
The good news is that you're willing to see if things will progress and if they don't, you'll leave. Remain realistic like that.
But the moment she tells you she wants to strap one on and make you her nancy boy ... RUN!
;-)
Good Saturday morning to you, Mike.
If it is only a bump - and she was hoping you were in it for the long haul -- that would be great.
But then, why not say that ?
And if her communication skill are such that she can't articulate what she is genuinely feeling/wants - it might always be an issue for you as a couple.
You shouldn't have to read her mind.
Nonetheless, I wish you the best, whatever happens, Mike - and it does sound like you are learning a lot.
cyber hugs,
Loving Annie
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