Knee Deep in a Relationship

Being knee deep in a relationship is a work out let me tell you.  I talked to the Comic about how I was feeling and it went over well.  She explained how much I do mean to her which made me cry.  I did talk to her about seeing her niece any other day would not have been a problem.  However she had made it out to be such a special day for me and then to drop it as soon as someone else came into town bothered me.  What I did say was the example of me sharing the holiday with her yesterday and how much she had been looking forward to it.  Then me saying Wednesday that a friend had come into town and I would just stop over for dessert in the evening.  She got the point there.  The other thing that I explained to her was that while all her words were really nice that actions like these negated them.  

So today I'm working half a day.  The Comic was going to come into the office to help with decorations and with my calendars which she really wanted to do.  After which we are going to see Harry Potter.  This morning she wanted to sleep in which was no problem, but when it was 11:30 and I hadn't heard a response from my text I was getting a bit upset.  For me I don't care if you want to do something or not, however if you say you are going to do it.  I do expect that it happens.  

So I'm trying to drop the fantasy that I'm going to see Harry Potter by myself.  I will do it if I don't hear from her since I don't give up my happiness for anyone. However I do want to be able to detach without any fuck you.  I did the decorations already and will start on the calendars in a few.

I will say it was rough for me opening presents this morning.  It really hasn't happen for me in many years so I'm a bit cool with it.  Mostly it reminds me of how much I've missed over the years and the overflow of emotions this year.  It's hard leaving the edge of the pool to venture into the deep end to get the full experience.  I'm doing it inch by inch and hour by hour, but I will tell you this is a lot of work.  I'm enjoying it all, but I haven't had to work this hard in years.