Pacing Oneself

It's been a week of telling myself what I've been telling everyone else. To pace myself. I came back from vacation from Eric feeling this intense pressure to get so much done that I wanted to. It was all stressing me out especially when there were few deadlines besides the self imposed ones. A lot of that went out the window yesterday I'm happy to report.

The Comic and I finally got to see and hang out with each other after about 12 days. We find that we get stressed when we are away from each other. So yesterday I found myself very relaxed and accepting the fact that I was going to fall apart and come back together again for today. I ended getting a lot of stuff done yesterday with less stress that I had.

Okay I'm going to vomit on the page here just cause I need to get this stuff out of my head. The Comic is the only woman to make me feel so loved and accepted in life. It's hard for me to accept that it's from me being a nice guy and not from all the bad relationships she has had. I like that she has insight into my life which is very helpful. I'm trying not to focus on that she is also coming from a point of lower self esteem than myself. Lastly that she likes me intensely more than I like her. It's not to say that I don't like her, but it is a halogen bulb versus a normal one. No problems here, just a bunch of crap swimming in my mind.

My ex asked if I could get our son health insurance since she's having a hard time trying to show she makes nothing. Anyway she made it seem to me that it was time sensitive, like for school. So I texted her the information I needed Monday and still no response. Nothing new, but in the past this usually blows up at the last minute. I'm trying not to go there with I know how it will end up, but I'm trying to avoid the anxiety on my part.