Hey I'm Off the Chart

Usually when you're off the charts it means a good thing. Not with an Attributional Style Questionnaire which measure how optimistic and pessimistic you are. I'm at a -1 which isn't even on the chart or very pessimistic. I know that's my history, but I thought I would have come up. Although I have no idea what it would have been years ago. China here I come it would be so low. I took the test since it does correlate with how you do with sales. While I do have hope I know my knee jerk reaction is that something bad will happen. I guess something else to work on harder. Too many years of being trained like a monkey that the read and green buttons both zap your ass.

One thing I realized the other day is that I still really have few close friends. While I now know more people than I have ever in my life. Close friendships are still few and far between. 10-15 years ago when most of my close friendships ended either because they were toxic or physical distance just separated us I was left to my lonesome. Since then I haven't formed many deep friendships. While I have a few, most of them aren't local which I miss. I guess that's why I like the singles group so much since it does get me together with other people. While I now have some friends, I wouldn't classify any of them as deep friendships. I guess like my friend Paul and I always talk about. We have many healthy hobbies, but they are all singular. So all I bond with are crazy people or geeks. What can I say.

Bummed I was hoping to go hiking with L over the weekend since we couldn't hook up during the week, but it's not going to happen. So we'll have to try again next week. In an attempt to increase my cardiovascular work I think I'll go biking tomorrow instead. Just like doing this stuff better with people. I tell you deep down I have this funny feeling that L and I will be together again somewhere off in the far future. I don't know why. She doesn't have a nurturing bone in her body, but belief wise we are right on. Who knows?