Squeezing

Sitting around in Starbucks yesterday. I know me in Starbucks, incredible isn't it? Anyway I was hit by the want to squeeze more pleasure out of life. After spending most of my life numbing up to it, to fully experience it is still new. Maybe it's because I've been trying to write again this week. With writing you really need to describe life around you and its hard for me to push past the surface which I found weird since I'm pretty aware and intuitive. However reading one of my daily readers this morning it talked about having your perceptions and feelings abused by those around you. Jeez theirs my life story. Why should I enjoy the world around me when I've had it pounded into me that my perceptions and feelings were a lie. What I felt was not what I really felt. The world I perceived around me was not what I thought it was. Like a monkey that is zapped for touching the red button it is no longer a natural thing for me as most things are. It's all work. Not saying that it's unpleasurable, but it doesn't come naturally.