The Exciting Ride Home

Well I made it back in one piece which I have to admit was looking a little shaky tonight. The weekend update and pics will have to wait till tomorrow and a few hours sleep. The normal 6-6 1/2 hour trip ended being 8 thanks to the Jersey Turnpike. It took me so long to get to Delaware that my ankle just ached from all the stop and go. Anyway once out of there I made good time until I was in Maryland. The sky kept lighting up every two seconds. I realized it was lightening. However it the sky just kept lighting up. It never stood dark. I was starting to get worried since it must be one hell of a storm, but then I realized I couldn't hear it so it must be far off. My true worry is going across the Chesapeake bridge which is 20 miles long across the water while in a storm. So I continue on my way and I go around a big curve and I notice their are two storms. One over the ocean already and one straight ahead. Now both are putting out a lot of lightening. However the one in front of me is discharging bolts. Like every few seconds. I swear I was waiting for some UFO from War of the Worlds to come out of it. It was that intense. Again I really couldn't hear it so I figured it would be out of my way by the time I get to it. I figured wrong. Boy did it rain. It would have been easier driving through a waterfalls. I couldn't see crap well maybe 10 feet in front of me and I used the lines to stay on the road. You have to remember I'm in the middle of East Butt Fuck and there is nothing around. What makes visibility worse is the lightening which keep illuminating everything and making me temporarily blind. It was almost like a horror movie. With each flash of light I was expecting so see some ax wielding maniac as I ran him over or worse yet a car sitting in the middle of the road. Anyway after about 20 minutes it let up and I was able to keep on my way. I was pretty happy that I had missed the storms as I was half way through Virginia when lo and behold storm number three discharging lightening like a mother. Jeez does someone not like me. Is my Ex or L playing with a voodoo doll? I was happy to report that the storm had passed by the time I made it to the bridge.

Now I was very happy to have made it all the way home safe and sound when I turned onto the street that would take me back into my neighborhood when all of a sudden I hear the wracked as something keeps striking my car. WTF! So I stop get out and I hear air leaking from my tire. The tire is still inflated so what the hell made the noise. I feel around the tire and I touch this long piece of rubber. Did the tire come apart? Pulling on it I see it is a bungee cord one of the really heavy duty ones and the metal is stuck in my tire. Fucking great! I tried just pulling the rubber off and leaving the metal so I could get home. That didn't work and I didn't want this thing flailing all over the place. So I yanked it. Out it popped and so did the air. So I hoped in the car and took off like a bat out of hell. I figured I could fix it in the driveway tomorrow morning when it was light out and hopefully not raining. The plan was working well to I got behind this car. Well it had four wheels, but a golf cart could total this thing. I mean it really needed a toy windup key on its back. Yes it was that small and moving really fucking slow. My air is leaking at an alarming rate, it's 1 am in the morning and I have been driving for 8 hours, and I'm behind a looney tunes car. I nearly fucking lost it and went ape shit on him, but I figured he would just stop his car thus blocking my way and I would really have to kill him. I didn't need to spend the night in jail on top of everything else. So I settled for cursing him out the entire time. Happily I made it into the driveway with air to spare.