Revelations

Well I'm out of the funk from the break up with Law girl. Funny I didn't know I was in one, but the fog lifted last night. I guess when all the good things that I learned in the relationship come to my mind the grieving is over. What is the final part, acceptance? I didn't realize it, but I was just not wanting a deep relationship which is weird since I always strive towards it. However that was what I learned in this relationship and Law girl confirmed it with I did all the right things in her email. The payoff during our time together was great and I know it would have been better if the chemistry was there for her.

Still no reply from the girl I had the date with Saturday. Since Ginormous asked, she didn't offer to pay for lunch just go to lunch. Offering to pay would have been the right thing to do to make up for the screw up. Oh well. No loss.

Well That's A First

As I previously stated I had a date yesterday. We were suppose to meet at Starbucks at 1. Well by 1:20 I was out of there. Why? I was stood up. First time so a new thing experienced. It was a spur of the moment ask out so I really had nothing to lose with the date so it was no big deal. It was a new boundary setting of the 20 minutes and then splitting. A small part of me later on was like maybe I left too early, but hey if you can't be there on time it says a lot about how you feel. I did learn that I can flirt while waiting for a date though.

When I did get home I found a email from her stamped at noon. She had a emergency with her son and couldn't make it. She hoped we could reschedule and maybe do lunch. Their was no apologies which I thought was weird and how did we upgrade this to lunch when I was left sitting there. I emailed her back hoping all was well with her son. I told her next time we would exchange phone numbers so that this could be avoided. I left it in her hands of telling me when she was free. Like I said the date was no big deal so I really don't care if it happens or not.

Riding a Bike

As some of you already know I bounce back pretty fast when I take care of myself. So that was my driving force since yesterday. So day I feel good and I'm enjoying the day. Also I have a date tomorrow. If she earns a second date I'll give her a nickname. We'll do the Starbucks acid test to see if there is any chemistry.

Besides that I have a few rants. I got a letter from child support saying that I could be eligible for a tax refund for the money I pay. Hey I'm pretty excited. I go through the whole list with immense joy as it all pertains to me except the last one. I have to be a NY resident. WTF! Why are you sending me this when I live in Virginia? You have to put the address on the letter fart knocker.

My other rant is that it has been a gorgeous week here, sunny 70's. What do we have for the weekend? 50's and rain. WTF!

A Dead Day

I'm sad. Yeah I know I just got dumped so it's normal, but I don't want to be. Happily my heart wasn't fully committed to Law girl so the pain is minimal, but I need to go through the feelings. I really just want to take the crash course instead of having a dead day. It's dead in the office so keeping myself occupied to my last patient at 5 is really rough. I've been to the beach for lunch and Starbucks to read. I just want this day to end so I can move on with my feelings. See this is why I hate feeling them.

Anyway the weirdest thing is I keep running into L all day long. I know it's a test to see if I'll do the right thing. Even though I am sad I had a lot more with Law girl than I ever had with L and probably ever will so it's a finished chapter also. The good thing is that my Match account is still good for another month. Mostly the same women as before, but a few new ones. So we'll see.

Another Chapter Ends

Well I got the Dear John email from Law girl this morning. Well at least I know my senses are correct when I feel this stuff. With L and CPA girl I knew it was coming. I knew something was missing her and it was her not having such string feelings for me. It was one of the nicest emails I've gotten. She said I did everything right she's just not feeling the chemistry. I can live with that. May not be happy about it, but not being left in the dark is a good thing.

On a side note I did run into L at the gym this morning and I handled it no problem.

Ditto

I was texting with Law girl tonight. I know I've moved into the 21st Century. I mostly wanted to wish her a good night sleep. She joked back that I got her early enough which was my plan. So we ended up going back and forth a few times. I've said this before, but I said it again that I think she is special and I'm happy to have met her. I got back a smiley face and a "ditto". The ditto was a icy chill up my spine. The ditto response was what I got from my ex when I use to say, "I love you". It was always such a let down to hear it and I always wanted more. Never got it. So this puts a little fear in me. It's my own and I'll deal with it. If this becomes a problem with Law girl we'll have to talk about it.

Woohoo I'm Moving into Eastern Europe

I tell you it's like the game Risk. Every morning I check my Cluster Map to see where I have extended my influence to. The amount of pleasure it gives me is enormous, like a kid getting a present pleasure. I do have to thank SWF42 for the link.

Other than that I had my Mom's care meeting this morning. The big thing is my Mom is getting very picky with her eating. She's loss like 6 pounds in the last few months. It's part of the dementia, but we are trying to get around the problem. I know she still inhales chocolate chip cookies. Since the sweet taste buds are the last ones you have we're trying Ensure with ice cream to try and get the weight back on her. Also hopefully some therapy to get her walking better again.

It was good to talk to Law girl last night. I missed her and it was nice to hear her voice. I'm starting to think that she is good at showing her feelings, but verbally she maybe lacking. So far in the relationship she has done many big things, but expressing herself verbally has lacked. While I'm very happy I do miss this quality and I know it was a problem with my ex also. We had talked about this issue indirectly and Law girl said she was weak in this quality, but she was working on it.

Shit! I Forgot My Cross & Holy Water

So it's reschedule day again in the office which leaves me large holes in my schedule. So I figured I would head to the bank and then hit the Thrift store on the way back to see if there were any cool games for game night. I did score Scruples. Then I turned around and there she was.

L was there trying on clothes. I forgot that it is spring break and as a teacher she is off. I reacted, instead of acting, by getting the hell out of there. Of course the cashier is just talking and taking her time. I almost screamed, "gimme the fuckin' money!" Whether L saw me or not I don't know. I do know I would have handled it if she had found me first, but the surprise shocked me.

TMI Tuesday

Haven't done one of these in a while since they've been on the lame side.

1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave? Well I shave daily. Good or bad? Well when I was young and I use to kiss my Dad and he had sandpaper stubble it sucked. Personally I like to look clean cut, but I do alter with the women I'm with and their preference.

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is? It's all good. Never had someone shove me up against the wall though. I'm usually the initiator of that.

3. Did you ever own a fake ID? No

4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe? No

5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain? No. I have a problem with freezing my ass off literally.

Man With A Plan

That's me. I always have a plan. I maybe shooting from the hip, but I have a plan in mind. Why am I talking about this? Well since Law girl and I are taking it slow I guess there is no use for a plan. I work on just enjoying things as they come up and move along. However there is usually a plan to do so. So there is less of a need for it now, virgin territory. When we get together for lunch Thursday I'll probably ask what her belief is behind it.