Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Revelations

Well I'm out of the funk from the break up with Law girl. Funny I didn't know I was in one, but the fog lifted last night. I guess when all the good things that I learned in the relationship come to my mind the grieving is over. What is the final part, acceptance? I didn't realize it, but I was just not wanting a deep relationship which is weird since I always strive towards it. However that was what I learned in this relationship and Law girl confirmed it with I did all the right things in her email. The payoff during our time together was great and I know it would have been better if the chemistry was there for her.

Still no reply from the girl I had the date with Saturday. Since Ginormous asked, she didn't offer to pay for lunch just go to lunch. Offering to pay would have been the right thing to do to make up for the screw up. Oh well. No loss.

Well That's A First

As I previously stated I had a date yesterday. We were suppose to meet at Starbucks at 1. Well by 1:20 I was out of there. Why? I was stood up. First time so a new thing experienced. It was a spur of the moment ask out so I really had nothing to lose with the date so it was no big deal. It was a new boundary setting of the 20 minutes and then splitting. A small part of me later on was like maybe I left too early, but hey if you can't be there on time it says a lot about how you feel. I did learn that I can flirt while waiting for a date though.

When I did get home I found a email from her stamped at noon. She had a emergency with her son and couldn't make it. She hoped we could reschedule and maybe do lunch. Their was no apologies which I thought was weird and how did we upgrade this to lunch when I was left sitting there. I emailed her back hoping all was well with her son. I told her next time we would exchange phone numbers so that this could be avoided. I left it in her hands of telling me when she was free. Like I said the date was no big deal so I really don't care if it happens or not.

Riding a Bike

As some of you already know I bounce back pretty fast when I take care of myself. So that was my driving force since yesterday. So day I feel good and I'm enjoying the day. Also I have a date tomorrow. If she earns a second date I'll give her a nickname. We'll do the Starbucks acid test to see if there is any chemistry.

Besides that I have a few rants. I got a letter from child support saying that I could be eligible for a tax refund for the money I pay. Hey I'm pretty excited. I go through the whole list with immense joy as it all pertains to me except the last one. I have to be a NY resident. WTF! Why are you sending me this when I live in Virginia? You have to put the address on the letter fart knocker.

My other rant is that it has been a gorgeous week here, sunny 70's. What do we have for the weekend? 50's and rain. WTF!

A Dead Day

I'm sad. Yeah I know I just got dumped so it's normal, but I don't want to be. Happily my heart wasn't fully committed to Law girl so the pain is minimal, but I need to go through the feelings. I really just want to take the crash course instead of having a dead day. It's dead in the office so keeping myself occupied to my last patient at 5 is really rough. I've been to the beach for lunch and Starbucks to read. I just want this day to end so I can move on with my feelings. See this is why I hate feeling them.

Anyway the weirdest thing is I keep running into L all day long. I know it's a test to see if I'll do the right thing. Even though I am sad I had a lot more with Law girl than I ever had with L and probably ever will so it's a finished chapter also. The good thing is that my Match account is still good for another month. Mostly the same women as before, but a few new ones. So we'll see.

Another Chapter Ends


Well I got the Dear John email from Law girl this morning. Well at least I know my senses are correct when I feel this stuff. With L and CPA girl I knew it was coming. I knew something was missing her and it was her not having such string feelings for me. It was one of the nicest emails I've gotten. She said I did everything right she's just not feeling the chemistry. I can live with that. May not be happy about it, but not being left in the dark is a good thing.


On a side note I did run into L at the gym this morning and I handled it no problem.

Ditto

I was texting with Law girl tonight. I know I've moved into the 21st Century. I mostly wanted to wish her a good night sleep. She joked back that I got her early enough which was my plan. So we ended up going back and forth a few times. I've said this before, but I said it again that I think she is special and I'm happy to have met her. I got back a smiley face and a "ditto". The ditto was a icy chill up my spine. The ditto response was what I got from my ex when I use to say, "I love you". It was always such a let down to hear it and I always wanted more. Never got it. So this puts a little fear in me. It's my own and I'll deal with it. If this becomes a problem with Law girl we'll have to talk about it.

Woohoo I'm Moving into Eastern Europe


I tell you it's like the game Risk. Every morning I check my Cluster Map to see where I have extended my influence to. The amount of pleasure it gives me is enormous, like a kid getting a present pleasure. I do have to thank SWF42 for the link.


Other than that I had my Mom's care meeting this morning. The big thing is my Mom is getting very picky with her eating. She's loss like 6 pounds in the last few months. It's part of the dementia, but we are trying to get around the problem. I know she still inhales chocolate chip cookies. Since the sweet taste buds are the last ones you have we're trying Ensure with ice cream to try and get the weight back on her. Also hopefully some therapy to get her walking better again.


It was good to talk to Law girl last night. I missed her and it was nice to hear her voice. I'm starting to think that she is good at showing her feelings, but verbally she maybe lacking. So far in the relationship she has done many big things, but expressing herself verbally has lacked. While I'm very happy I do miss this quality and I know it was a problem with my ex also. We had talked about this issue indirectly and Law girl said she was weak in this quality, but she was working on it.

Shit! I Forgot My Cross & Holy Water

So it's reschedule day again in the office which leaves me large holes in my schedule. So I figured I would head to the bank and then hit the Thrift store on the way back to see if there were any cool games for game night. I did score Scruples. Then I turned around and there she was.
L was there trying on clothes. I forgot that it is spring break and as a teacher she is off. I reacted, instead of acting, by getting the hell out of there. Of course the cashier is just talking and taking her time. I almost screamed, "gimme the fuckin' money!" Whether L saw me or not I don't know. I do know I would have handled it if she had found me first, but the surprise shocked me.

TMI Tuesday


Haven't done one of these in a while since they've been on the lame side.


1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave? Well I shave daily. Good or bad? Well when I was young and I use to kiss my Dad and he had sandpaper stubble it sucked. Personally I like to look clean cut, but I do alter with the women I'm with and their preference.

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is? It's all good. Never had someone shove me up against the wall though. I'm usually the initiator of that.

3. Did you ever own a fake ID? No

4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe? No

5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain? No. I have a problem with freezing my ass off literally.

Man With A Plan


That's me. I always have a plan. I maybe shooting from the hip, but I have a plan in mind. Why am I talking about this? Well since Law girl and I are taking it slow I guess there is no use for a plan. I work on just enjoying things as they come up and move along. However there is usually a plan to do so. So there is less of a need for it now, virgin territory. When we get together for lunch Thursday I'll probably ask what her belief is behind it.

Decisions ... decisions ...

The organizer for our Singles group emailed me last night wondering if I would like to take over the reigns since he needs to put more time in with his family. If I wasn't with Law girl I would be all over it, but now I have to think. While it is a lot of fun, it can be a bit of a time consumer. Since Law girl has other things going on during the week and is not a night owl I work on scheduling events on nights that I don't see her so I can give her my full attention. Like my friend Paul would say if I took over a group, "didn't see that coming" with a lot of sarcasm. I'm a leader in a lot of things. Ah shit what am I talking about. I like running things so I guess I'm taking the reigns. If it interferes with Law girl and myself I'll pass it onto someone else.

Easter Dinner

So Easter Dinner at Law girl's went very well. I got her a card to celebrate the holiday. I had already met K her daughter, but I got to meet her boyfriend. Also I finally got to meet her son D who is a bit shy. Law girl's dad was too sick to make it, but I did meet her mom. Everyone was very nice and it was a fun time.

It's nice to look across the room or table and smile at each other. Pretty much after dinner everyone cleared out so Law girl and myself were able to cuddle up on the couch. Since I always like to be sure I asked her about taking thing slow. She said it was working very well for her. She asked me and I told her I liked it and that I've been dumped in the past for trying to do it. The funny thing is that she is such a wuss (her words) on staying up late. She is definitely not a night owl. I have to admit that I am so relaxed around her that I start getting drowsy.

Even though we are taking things slow she is very good with the affection of rubbing the back of my head, shoulders, or hands. Since we connect on so many levels I don't feel like I'm missing anything without a sexual connection.

Happy Easter


What's Easter without any Peeps. This morning the Landlord and myself are meeting a bunch of young Moms and their little ones to celebrate Easter with the little one. Then later on I'm heading over to Law girl's place for Easter dinner with her family.

One thing I didn't mention here was that Friday I called Eric to see how he was doing. He was upset since he had been to the doctor and he might have Slap Cheek Syndrome. Some virus that would cause him to act weird he said. After a while I think I got Slack Jaw out of him, neither one was I able to find any information on. I figured my ex would call me and fully explain it. As usual I guessed wrong so I'll have to track her down today to find out what is going on.

Rebuttal

My friend Tina had this to say on my last date with Law girl. It brought up a good point that I would like to talk about.

Hey Mike,
It sounds like another enjoyable date with Law Girl. The feeling I am getting is that this is a very sensible and respectable woman. And responsible. Since she has a daughter, I am sure that she is trying to be conscious ... and cautious ... about her relationships. She wants to make sure that things are secure between the two of you, so that she doesn't make a move that she could come to regret, as well as doing anything that would adversely affect her daughter.
Frustrating as this could be for you, it is actually a gift. First, it demonstrates that this gal is a class act who doesn't just jump into the physical thing ... she is responsible about that part of her life. And the other thing is that in holding back some, she is actually causing the two of you to put more emphasis on getting to know each other without it getting clouded by the physical aspect of it. When things finally do happen, they will be that much better as a result. To me, this is all good ... if somewhat ummm, frustrating ! lol


Oh I totally understand that part and I like it. We are developing in all other aspects of our relationship without the physical clouding any judgement. I've tried to do this in the past and have been dumped for it. So I gave it up since I can't do it all and the women I was with were pushing the physical. However it is frustrating, but for a different reason than you might think. It's being a guy and in a relationship a guy is suppose to step up to the plate and drive the relationship. It's hard to drive when you don't know where you're going.

Post Date Report #8

Well I met Law girl's daughter tonight. She's a nice kid.

I was in the mood for sushi and Law girl loves it so it was a plan. Boy was it a fast dinner. The had it served to us really fast and we were both hungry and inhaled it. The food was awesome as was the presentation as always. Since it was early and the sun was still out I suggested a walk on the beach. I knew where to park from when I was going out with CPA girl.

The weather was great as was the sunset. We had a nice walk and I got to poke fun at Law girl. For a native who grew up here, she's just never been to so much that is here. She'd never been to Chix's beach waterfront. It was like when we went to the oceanfront last week and all the stuff she never saw before.

We decided on TV instead of a DVD. It was nice to cuddle on the couch and relax. Quick kisses were back which I was surprised. Sometimes I feel like I'm dating a virgin. However it was a very enjoyable evening. We're very comfortable together which we both like. It is funny to watch Law girl register how much I like her.

Casual Friday

I haven't done casual around here in a while so I figured today was the day. Jeans and sneakers feel so good. I hate reschedule days like today. Everything is nicely packed and then boom it all changes and I have these holes of time that I don't know what to do with. There not large enough for me to run errands.

Anyway I'm really looking to seeing Law girl tonight. She already emailed me that she was looking forward to it. I tell you I'm really looking forward to Easter dinner. A woman cooking food for me. Woohoo! Last time a woman cooked for me I think I was still living at home. Okay my ex did cook for me about 5 times in our 10 year marriage, but it was an arm twist so I don't remember them fondly. Dating we usually go out or I've cooked so this is big for me. I feel like Al Bundy getting all excited watching Peg actually do housework. Hey I never said I wasn't strange.

Taking Things Personally


After a life time of loved ones telling me it's night when the sun is out. That it's Monday when the calender says Tuesday. I'm pretty sensitive when someone tries to rewrite my reality. I don't know if I was born with a really great memory or this insanity made me develop the talent.

Anyway I have a patient that owes me money. I've sent a few remittances for the small amount. So today I thought I finally got my money. Wrong. It was a request to have the amount dropped. The reason because we never talked about the possibility of their being a extra charge. WTF! It's the second time it has happened. We talked about in the office. I'm a pretty laid back guy, but this kind of stuff REALLY gets under my skin. I was ready to hammer her back, but I was grateful to be able to look at the big picture. It's a small amount and she has access to a LOT of people. Since I'm a word of mouth business that could be a stake through the heart. So I took care of it in a professional manner. I forgave the amount, but wrote down her benefits. If I read the letter I still fume, but at least I can rise above it.

The Lunch Date #7

It was nice to email Law girl this morning to say I couldn't wait to see her and to have her respond the same. Panera bread was really good for lunch just very crowded. I tell you I've never been so relaxed with someone so early on. It's nice.

Afterwards we went back to my office for the grand tour. Law girl had never had chiropractic treatment before so I gave her the full treatment. Actually extra since I massaged her hands while she was on therapy. Little rusty on the skills, but the came back pretty fast. As I've commented before I get a look into a woman's mind while I'm working on her so I got a glimpse of Law girl today that made me smile.

My gut was right and we shared our first prolonged kiss today. It was really nice. She even massaged my hands for me and asked if I could teach her how to do it. Wow someone that actually wants to give besides receive.

I totally had forgotten our first conversation when Law girl turned to me and said, "you really are a nice guy." She had said everyone says how normal she is and I said everyone says I'm a nice guy. Well she's really normal which is weird to me, not in a bad way, just weird.

So she invited me over for Easter dinner at her place to meet her kids and parents. Theirs a big step. We'll also get together Friday night and do something. Not quite sure what yet. I have to admit I really like that she has a life.

Squealing Like a Pig

That's how I felt while I was filling up at the pump this morning. I was thinking maybe just doing a half of a tank, but I know it's going to keep going up in price. So I'd just be screwing myself over on the screwing I'm already getting.

It was nice yesterday Law girl asked if I wanted her to call me when she got home from her meeting. Of course was my response. We're both looking forward to seeing each other for lunch today. We're hitting Panera bread then I'm going to show her my office which will be fun. She has a doctor's appointment and I have a business class so we'll have free time after lunch which will be nice.

I got a lot of compliments at my business networking group yesterday and I have to say it still makes me uncomfortable. I know it's still hard swallowing that I have these great qualities. Something still to work on. Happy to say its better, but I do want to be able to enjoy it better.

This is Why

I got a email from L today. I would like to share:

Hi Mike,

How are you? I am assuming that your sex life with the paralegal is going strong and uninhibited since you have not found the time to write. By now, the two of you must be performing all kinds of orgies and watching porn together. Those two activities are very "inspirational." At any rate, if you want to share some of those imaginative moments, whether real or fantasy (or as the wise George Constanza put it, "if you believe, it's true") I am all ears...or eyes in this case. :-)

PS: I tried to find you on Match, but you have disappeared, one more reason why I thought you and the legal assistant were exchanging fluids in a serious manner.

This is one of the reason's she stays an ex. When I'm not dating anyone we will sometimes joke say hi to each other, but L really has no boundaries.

Best of the Beach


Ginormous Boobs wanted to know more about Best of the Beach. I know if one person wants to know more will follow. So in an attempt to beat everyone to the punch here it is. Our local paper which pretty much owns all printed media in the 7 cities area has an annual contest of Best of the Beach. Each business can be voted on in each city. Best salon, restaurant, etc all the way down to me the chiropractor. So after winning the "Best in the City" (another award and I don't know who voted for me) for '06 I asked my patients this year.


Knowing Law girl is also helping since she contacted all her Woohoo Sistahs to help out. I'll get everyone in my business group to help out so we'll see how it goes. So when I know what happens I'll let you know.


On a side note, it was very funny today. I never had a new patient try to set me up so fast with someone before.

Vindication

Well I got some vindication last night while I was talking to Eric. They've been having problems at the house mostly because my ex doesn't keep up with anything. And for a person who likes things clean she's a slob. However this is neither here or there. What Eric said was they got new furniture. WTF! This from a woman who doesn't work. I know she must of asked her rich aunt for money. So what do you do when your not working, you redecorate. It was nice to hear because it reminds me why we never had any money. No matter how much I made we were always scrapping by. I make about a 1/10 of what I use to make and I survive. It's just baffling. Well actually not I know she is a very unhappy person and she believes all the new stuff will make her better.

This year I've taken the bull by the horns and asked my patients to vote for me for the Best of the Beach. Our annual event. It would be a great marketing thing for the office. Usually I just hope, but as I've learned many times if your waiting for something to happen you're going to keep waiting. Action is needed.

Shall We Dance

Since this semesters dance class started I haven't been too enthused about it. I know it's a class and a certain amount of work is needed, but that's the problem. At my age I'm looking to have fun, not master anything. Salsa classes are becoming too much work and less and less fun. I just want to go back to the clubs and enjoy dancing when I want to. Hey I might not be the best on the dance floor, but that was never my purpose. So I'm still thinking, but I'm starting to lean towards letting it go. I also think something else that is pushing me is that 15-20 year age difference between me and everyone else. Law girl says I can easily pass for someone in their twenties and I think everyone at dance forgets it, but its really hard to bond with them. I have much more fun with my singles group which has most everyone around my own age.

With a Little Help From My Friends

"It is good that she takes things slowly, so when you get to second base you know that it is special for her and she doesn't get there with a lot of men. That tells you how special YOU are to her."

My friend Paru emailed me this and it was nice to hear. The benefit of talking to so many people is that I get many different points of few beyond my narrow range. Law girl already texted me saying how much she enjoyed the night.

It was funny last night she was joking about my animal magnetism since all her animals gravitate towards me. Especially one of her cats whom I have a complete mental block on remembering her name. By the end of the night she was snuggled all against me.

Sitting in Starbucks today I was happy to have told Law girl how I felt because sitting there I could feel the difference in me when I looked at other women. It's like she's pretty, but that's it. I'm very happy with Law girl and not looking for anyone else.

One of my Mom's nurse's wanted to talk to me since Mom doesn't like the food which is really weird since she always had a great appetite. The nurse did say it seemed to be the presentation of the food. She wasn't losing any weight, but they did want her to be a better eater. I had no clue besides junk what she would want. I did recommend that she see the dentist to make sure nothing was going on in her mouth. She downed 2 chocolate chip cookies no problem with me though.

I got thrown into a rage yesterday. I've signed up for health insurance something I haven't done in years. If you don't know this everyone is classified into 4 groups. 1 being the healthiest to 4 which is the worse with 5 is uninsurable. I use to be a 1 and I figured with me taking meds for my low grade depression I would be a 2 since other than that I'm healthy. The bastards graded me a 3. WTF!!!!! My ex is a 4 and she has a laundry list of health problems. Boy was I livid. I did contact my broker friend to see what he can do.

Post Date Report #6

Well I finally got a new cellphone today to replace my dying one. So I texted Law girl telling her I couldn't wait to see her.

So I picked up a bouquet of flowers for her and a card for her coming birthday. I took her over to Guadalajara's which is one of her favorite restaurants. The food was great and we got to talk and joke around.

Afterwards I read her mind and we went down to walk on the boardwalk. It was windy, but nice. I told her I realized I didn't want to date anyone else. She seemed pleasantly surprised. She didn't say anything on her end, but I usually not looking for any response. However a little while later she asked about my dating history. We didn't go into numbers, but I could tell she went out less, but for longer periods than me. She also stated somethings I had said a date or 2 ago about being very relaxed around me and really enjoying her time.

When the cold finally got to us we decided to grab a DVD and watch it at her place. We got Death at a Funeral which was really funny and worth seeing. Law girl is a snuggly person who likes to sit close on the couch with our legs intertwined and holding hands is a given. The kissing thing I'm going to have to tackle next time. She's great hugging, but a prolonged kiss isn't happening.

I have to admit Law girl is the only woman I've dated this many times and haven't been more physical with. It's different, but I'm really enjoying my time with her so I'm okay with it. I really do want that prolonged kiss, but know that will start the physical. Deep down I know that's why Law girl is holding off.

So I think our routine will be one lunch during the week and depending on the weekends she has her son is how many nights we'll see of each other.

Popped My Cherry

Law Girl texted me last night before dinner. I didn't have time to call and chat so I texted her back. My first text message ever. It was fun, but a pain. I don't know if I can get into it or not.

On a side note it seems I've been screwed on Ebay. I ordered the new Quicken and the guy ran with my money. Ebay and Paypal were no help. I'm going to have to take it up with Paypal, but it's just trying to contact them that is a pain. Maybe I should do it now. It's ungodly early in the morning. I woke up and can't get back to sleep. I could take out my annoyance on them. Sounds promising.

Yeah That's the Ticket

Well I'm Even Steven today. For every reschedule another person wants to come in. However I did get a whole today and I needed it. So I headed over to Starbucks to relax and read for a little while. I haven't been there all week. Wow I'm surprised I haven't gone into withdrawal. One thing I did realize while I was there was yeah the "talk" is ready to happen. I didn't care about the other women that came in. Law girl was the only one on my mind. I did stop and pick up her birthday card and I'll do flowers tomorrow.

Friday Morning

Well it's a busy day in the office which is always good. This morning on my way into the gym I met Rudy from Survivor. He's a fellow Virginia Beach resident. It took me a moment to think who he was, I just knew he was someone.



I'm not big on talking politics, but this Spitzer fiasco brought something up that needed commenting. I think I found out what his problem was. They asked a professional what you get for $3000 dollars and they said you get a women who will forget you the moment you leave. WTF? Any guy I've ever known always wanted the women to remember him for the rest if his days.



I think Law girl and I have moved to a different level. The conversation on the phone last night was more relaxed with a lot more laughter. I guess the "talk" is coming. Done it twice in my life and I had to bring it up. From my research women usually broach the topic first, but in my dating world that has never happened. I have a few different versions in my head, just not quite sure which one I'm going to use. We're planning on getting together tomorrow. I have a gift certificate to a place she really likes. So I'll get some flowers and a card to celebrate her birthday there.

The Lunch Date

It was great to see Law Girl today for lunch. The only bad thing was that we both wanted catfish and they only serve it on Friday. Since that was the only bad thing it was a good time. We talked and joked around. Then I asked about her bolting thing at the end of the dates. She stated she didn't realize, but she wasn't nervous with me. Whatever the reason she didn't bolt today and it was nice to have a prolonged goodbye. Also after I asked the question she was more affectionate. So I'll see how kissing is next time and if that needs to be addressed more directly.

Since she has her son this weekend we can only get together either Friday or Saturday. Now I need to see what is happening and plan accordingly. What was really nice and a surprise was that Law girl paid for lunch. Never have a problem with a woman who wants to pay. It seems we are rotating paying back and forth. Cool.

Back in the Saddle Again

Well I got tired of getting up tired all this week so I went to bed early and woke up refreshed this morning and hour early. Hey it worked. So off to the gym I went and I feel focused again. I have to admit I am a person of ritual. It gives me structure and comfort. So now to take care of some stuff.

I need to kick my brother's ass today. 2 weeks ago he said he would mail out a letter to our Mom's bank for info for her Medicaid. I call this morning and leave a message about an update. His message back is it went out yesterday. WTF?! The government wants the stuff when the want it. So I have to inform him if they stop paying Mom will be coming to live with him.

Well today I have lunch with Law Girl. I'll tackle the tough questions of kissing and her running at the end of dates. How she answers will dictate how our relationship continues.

I got an email from the Painter. I was surprised since I hadn't heard from her in weeks especially since I took my profile down. She wondered if I met someone and really liked how nice I had been. What was funny was the next email I opened was my daily motivation and it talked about you get what you put into a relationship. The Painter was always so busy to get together for coffee, but found time to do her stuff. You get what you pay for.

Dealing with my student loans today. I can't put them off anymore and their 60% of my monthly income. So I'm going to have to be really creative to deal with this.

Salsa not Selzer


I was not looking forward to dancing last night. I really haven't been into it over the last month since the jam which was really fun. So I got there and I did get into it. However when I started dancing I wasn't looking to be this great dancer, just to have fun. I've done a lot over the years and I know how much time is needed to be put into something to really excel.


It was fun and I took classes to bond with everyone. However I don't go out 3-4 times a week to do it, go up and down the Eastern seaboard to different salsa events. So there is a growing rift between everyone else and me in our abilities. I'm okay with that, but one of my female classmates let me have it last night with a what the hell are you doing. It stung and the fun drained out of it. Is this what parents talk about with their kids, sports, and the desire of excellence? Everyone else was cool about it, but it did make me think. I would keep dancing, but I'm not quite sure about classes anymore. I'll have to think on it.

My Vanilla Life

One of my adoring fans said I was the most vanilla person they ever heard of. I had to think for a while on that. I had to admit it was kind of a compliment to how much my life has changed over the years. Having seen many therapists over the years, they all said the same thing. They were impressed that I had made something of myself and wasn't in jail or making meth someplace.

It's interesting to get to a place you could never in vision. I guess now a days I face the usual problems of Mr. & Mrs. America. However like the earlier post today, a small part of me misses the insanity, the violence, the sex, the drugs, the alcohol, etc. I was birthed in a cauldron of the stuff and it's taking 4 decades to finally be mostly clean of it. So this is what people call "average"? Bizarre.

On the Law girl side of things. Her kids are cooking for her Monday so I told her I wanted to take her out and to let me know what day. That question has been ignored so far. However she has offered to rub my shoulders for me. A woman rub my shoulders? What is the world coming to? Hell even when I dated a massage therapist I gave out more massages. I could like this vanilla life.

Table Talk

I tell you men are funny. Yeah I know I’m one. Anyway when I have patients on the table and doing muscle work on them, guys will more than likely tough it out. Case in point was a guy today. I said my usual if the pressure is too much let me know. I’m breaking up a large trigger point and his leg is jerking up and down. Still quiet as a mouse though. So after a few jerks I asked and he said a little less pressure would be better.

Women are at the other end. The other day it was, “oooo that’s the spot, mmmmm.” If someone was next door I don’t know what they would think. I could tape it and start up a sex phone line for some extra money.

Hatchet Man

I'm the vice president of my BNI group for 2 reasons. 1) I'm very organized and 2) I'm a hard ass. So we've been having a problem with one member being late. She's way over the limit and we've talked to her. So she had someone call her last week and she was there nice and early. This week she passed on the phone call and I was right there 2 minutes after the hour to toss her out. The President was like it was 2 minutes and I'm like if it was important she would have been here 30 minutes ago. She begged and I caved and told her next time would be it. She was upset through the meeting and I had to work on not picking up the "I feel bad" vibe since I wasn't the person in the wrong.

On the Law girl front we're suppose to get together for lunch on Thursday. Too many nights out tires her out for the day. How I ever got to be dating such a vanilla woman is beyond me. No complaints. She's different from any women I've ever dated, but our backgrounds are so night and day. I guess it hits on that aspect of "being normal" with a normal person. It rattles me every once in a while. That want to wreck it for no other reason that the chaos it would produce. It's kind of the same when I want to pour liquid on my laptop. I never do, but the feeling comes.

On the home front, Landlord accepted a new tenant. So I lose my alone status which I've had for a year and a half now. Shelly moved in two weeks ago, but I've not seen her since. She has only slept there once since then. She hasn't even fully unpacked yet. Who knows. Anyway in the room next to mine I'm getting Amy a 25 year old with a 15 month old boy. Hopefully the kid sleeps. Amy is a waitress so hopefully she isn't up to early to wake me up.

TMI Tuesday



Is sex hotter for you when it's forbidden? Or do you get wracked with guilt and it's not enjoyable? I know it's not hotter.

Are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you? Do you need an emotional commitment from your partner for sex to be fulfilling? Yeah I need an emotional connection. Casual is too much like masturbating which isn't fulfilling to me.

Do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it's more difficult to make a commitment and/or stay committed to your partner? No. I think it's a mental state. Your either committed or your not.
Have you ever joined or participated in an online dating site? If not, would you ever consider it? What about a fetish site, such as alt.com? Yes. Match, Eharmony, Yahoo. Not into any fetishes so no.
What is the weirdest fetish you've heard of? A guy I knew liked to be wrapped and dipped into stuff. Like saran wrap and barrel of oil. His dream was to be dipped in a cesspool, but that hadn't happened last time I heard.

Bonus (as in optional): The definition of 'fetish' is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)? If so, do you want to share what it is? I think the definition of fetish is like pornography. May not be able to define it, but you know it when you see it.

Happy Monday

Getting out of bed this morning was not happy. I felt the hour difference and my body didn't want to get up. So I slept in the extra hour and planned on going to the gym tonight. However a new patient with good insurance came in (woohoo!).


Law girl's bosses were back in the office so she was busy today and the emails were slower today. I'll give her a call later to see when we can see each other again.


Talking to the aide at my Mom's place I think she had another stroke. The aide said Mom was having a harder time standing to go to the bathroom. I noticed last week when I asked her a question it was a lot different the way she answered. Where the hell it the big one? These tiny ones suck.

And Law girl makes an appearance.

Post Date #5 Report

Well after I picked up Law girl and we drove to the restaurant we talked a bunch. One how we weren't interviewing each other. It was all casual and relaxed. Things just came up as we talked. I asked her to tell me things few people knew. With her vanilla past it was hard, but we talked about different things from our past and childhoods. It was nice and fun.

Dinner was excellent and we drove around Law girl's old grandparents area. She was very close to them and I've never been in that part of Norfolk before. So it was nice to go down memory lane with her.

Comedy Improv was a blast as usual. Law girl enjoyed it and I had a large crowd of people which worked out well. It was nice to cuddle up against each other to enjoy the show.

So on the way home I asked when we could get together again. Law girl thinks it's very cute how excited I am with wanting to see her. We both agreed we like each other.

Now on kissing. If it's going to be a small smooch she's relaxed, but if its going to be something bigger she's quick. The whole night we had small kisses during dinner and the show. So there was nothing to talk about. However when I dropped her off it was a different story. I could see the hurry. I didn't want to put her on the spot right there at the end of the night. So I'll bring it up when we get together next time about how I notice how she gets quick.

The Pre Date Show

So tonight is date #5. How the hell did we get here? No complaints, just surprised to get here so fast. Anyway painting plans got squashed due to Law girl having to get her tax stuff together. No problem for me I just wanted to know if we were still getting together. She was still game so I was happy. We're still doing dinner which will be good.

I think it's time to start digging some. It's weird I do know a bunch about her, but in a way I don't feel I know her. Weird? I feel like I'm in that dead man's zone of being comfortable with her, but something is missing.

On the kissing issue. If it continues tonight I'll ask to see where she is with it.

The general consensus is dinner, flowers, and a card for her birthday. So I want to thank everyone. The funny thing is that I didn't want to buy the card today so as not to jinx our talk tonight.

Stay tuned for the post game show. I'll try to get photos.

Cheddar Approved

A continuance of my Post Date Report.

I tell you the WooHoo Sistahs while they joke around a lot really have thin skins. They found out I was from NY and made a few cracks about they wouldn't hold it against me then spent the next few minutes making sure I wasn't offended. The comment didn't even show up on my radar. If I had to say there was a theme of the night was if their antics were offensive to me. I mean could they get anymore vanilla. Holy shit if I told them about my life they would probably go into catatonic shock. I may have to slip in a story of underage prostitution or drugs and minors or something mild just to shake them up. I don't think they could take the heavy stuff.

Cheddar is one of Law girl's cats and supposedly very particular in who he sits on. It seems that Law girl and her son are the only ones. Well Cheddar had no problem plopping down on my lap for a scratch. I know animals and kids love me, but the Law girl's face was priceless.

We covered the topics that neither one of us was on the online dating site anymore and that we both didn't want anymore babies. So slowly the checklist is being done.

I had to admit I was saddened talking to Paul today to here that he dated a woman years ago with quick kiss problem and his never went away. That would really suck here. I can tell she's a good kisser, but relax and let it flow.

Next Monday the 17th is Law girl's birthday. What is appropriate for 3 weeks of dating?

Post Date Report

I met Law Girl at Knuckleheads for Happy Hour. She had saved me a seat next to her and it was good to see and hug her. I got to meet some of her Woohoo Sistahs. They were very nice people that do good work in the area. We were there about 3 hours. Talking, drinking, and eating. Law girl and I were very touchy feely which I liked. We talked some and decided to paint her room on Sunday before the show. It seems to take her hours to do it. I saw the room and I know I can do it in 15 minutes. Plus I could see her more so I liked my plan.

Anyway as the night went on I asked if she wanted to rent a move and she agreed. The waitress put both our tabs together. I forget how much "drinks" cost, however Law girl said she would pay since I had been paying for everything. Before we left she said she already had a movie at her place that she hadn't seen. I didn't care i just wanted to spend time with her.

So I got to see all of her place. I had already met Buddy the dog, but I also got to see Whisper and Cheddar the cats. One other cat was MIA in the house. The DVD was damaged so we ended up watching CSI: Miami. We hopped on the couch in each others arms and talked and watched TV. I tried kissing her a few times, but she always gives me the quick kiss. In all other aspects she has no problem. She was even more initiating physical contact which she hasn't done to this point. However this kissing thing is starting to rub on me. My ex and I didn't kiss for the last 5 years of our marriage. Kissing is big in a relationship. So I'm going to need to talk to her about this. Is it shyness or what?

Anyway we'll talk some tomorrow and see each other again on Sunday.

Socks

Recently I bought a bunch of black socks for work. They fit great and are very comfortable. The bad part is the lint. Black lint now plagues me. It's on my floor, bed, clothes, etc. They've scarred any dust bunnies I had out of the house. Dark clothes aren't bad, but light ones forget about it. This cancer needs to be removed. I thought after a few washes the problem would go away. No such luck.

Looking forward to seeing Law girl tonight at their Happy Hour place. Her WooHoo Sistahs are very important to her. So I think this is a test to see what both sides say. What the girls think of me and hopefully see another side of her. I'm hoping we can rent a movie and hang out afterwards. On the agenda: a longer kiss and being able to read her better.

Insurance Companies

I tell you there's nothing I love more that dealing with the bureaucratic red tape of insurance companies. Even when there nice their still evil. Every few months they make it harder and harder to get to a real person someplace in East Buttfuckya. So after playing ring around my minutes down the drain while I keep putting in the insurance ID and it keeps putting me back in the same place I hit a different person to get to a real person. I immediately tell her that I need someone in another department. She switches me to the operator (do these people still exists?) who transfers me to a person who tries to help me.

Anyway I give this lady the information who reads me the same answer on the claim which said the procedure wasn't covered when done by me a non medical doctor. Well fuck you too. So what you're saying is that the chiropractic adjustment isn't covered when done by a chiropractor. She didn't have much to say then so she dropped to the old stand by he doesn't have coverage, yeah that's the ticket. I inform her that their website states that he does. She gives me the phone number of another department. I should of made her transfer me. I call the 800 number to "hey Scott." SCREWED!!!!!


There's fucking 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back. So I'll have to start again later when I have the time to waste.

Post Date Report

I arrived at Law girl's a little early and got to pet Buddy her energetic dog. She's a big hug person so that's a good thing. We went over to the Funny Bone. Even though she works across the street she's never been there so I was happy to show it to her. I made a mistake with the smoking night. I tell you I think every smoker in a 50 mile radius was there. I think their was only a handful of people not smoking. It was weird. I don't think I've seen that many smokers in one place in a long time. I do have to admit that their ventilation system works very well.

We talked, joked, and shared and appetizer. I put my arm around her during the show and Law girl leaned against me and put her hand on my leg. It was nice to have her close. The show was good as always. A table next to us got drunk and was way too noisy. I was surprised, but very happy that the bouncer came in and shut them right up.

Law girl invited me to meet some of her friends at Happy Hour Friday night. So that will be fun. Hopefully we can hang out afterwards. I invited her to Comedy Improv on Sunday. I said dinner before hand at Fellini's and she was up to me. So I may change it to save some money since with tickets it becomes an expensive night.

Hand holding, arms around each other. All great. Kissing however is not moving along. This quick kiss thing is growing tiresome. I want a prolonged kiss. In the back on my mind I feel that Law girl wants this relationship and is moving slow. Slow is good I just want my kiss. So I'll see what I can do next time.

Texting & Stuff

"Good morning! Looking forward to tonight! :)"

Law girl left this text on my phone this morning. Getting text are still weird to me, but it was nice and made my day. She had beat me to the punch so I emailed her back how it had made my day and I how I was looking forward to seeing her tonight.

I'm not quite sure if Law girl is bad with signals or its her shyness. So I'm going to be a little more direct with her tonight. She's had no problem with it up to this point so I'll see how it goes in the kissing department.

It's a day of reschedules so I'll do some errands and see my Mom. Also I'm working on marketing to people with better insurance. This and last month has seen a growing number of Medicare and Optima in my office. While I'm happy to see them, it's $60 less than my good insurance and about $10 less than my cash patients. So it hurts in the wallet while everything else around me goes up.

Redbox & Pizza

Since I dropped my car off for inspection today I'm car less. My usual place's inspection guy is on vacation this week. Since my inspection ended last week I figured let me get it done. So I took it the place around the corner. This is one of the reason's I don't like them. They take forever. As of an hour ago they still didn't look at the car.

So having to hoof it today I've stayed in the area for everything. I stopped by the old pizza place to say hi to my old manager and get some pizza. Still get my discount which is great. Labelled a few boxes, cut my pizza and I was good.

I got some soy ice cream for afternoon dessert after my walk to the Post office. Since I had some extra time today I figured I would try out Redbox. What a freaking great idea. $1 gets you a DVD for 24 hours. Hey I cold drop it back off tonight. So I got Beowulf. It's okay and for a $1 who really cares.

Tuesday Things

Well I see I am the plague bearer. I saw my friend last week to get treated and she got sick. By this week she sounded like death warmed over. I was sad to hear it since I knew she had a performance this weekend.

I spoke to Law Girl last night and we had a nice conversation and we'll get together to go to the Funny Bone tomorrow night. She's free till Saturday so I'm hoping we can get together again before then. I like her and like I was saying with Paul this morning I think I can build a relationship with her. I don't know why I just get that stable feeling from her.

I got home from visiting friends last night. There was an email from L. I knew I shouldn't open it, but I did and the trap snapped on me. She informed me that she got a nice new toy for Valentine's day and in detail told me how she trying it out. Delete please! If I had nothing going right now I might go back to the sex and no relationship. However with someone I'm excited over now way.

The excitement at the house is the pair of hawks that are setting up nest. We thought they were just passing through with the pile of bird heads they've left us. However my Landlord spotted them making there nest this morning. Well at least the bird heads are neater than the Egrets barf like shit that use to land on the cars.

Money


I tell you money does strange things to people. I don't care how good a patient is. The can owe you some money and they will become the biggest bum ever. I'm always surprised. The elderly are the best though. If they owe you a dime they want to know so they can pay it off. It's great.


I bring this up cause it collections day in the office. The day each month when I track down my deadbeats and shake them down for money. I don't use a collection agency, but I might need to in the future. In the past I was scared to piss patients off, but you know if you owe me money you're the bum. I don't know if I really want you as a patient if you're a bum. At the moment I only have one patient over a $100 which is my line for taking you to court. Done it before and I know I'll do it again. Never collect, but it is the principal of the thing. Also with that outstanding it will come back to haunt you in the future.

Lazy Sunday

Well Sunday was a really lazy day for me. I got up late. Went down read the paper. Went back up to my room checked email on my bed then laid back down and was out for a few hour snooze. I did close down Match yesterday for 2 reasons. The real reason is L is flirting on the other side and I'm enjoying flirting back. Since it's not where I want to be going and I'm having a hard time of calling it quits it was easier to just drop it. The second smaller one is that I'm thinking of Law girl a lot and it's where I want to put my focus.

I tell you my week is busy and full, but when it comes to the weekend its a wasteland. I'm always looking for something to do. That unbalance is usually what makes the flirting with L fun. It's just something to keep me occupied.

So I took this weekend to catch up on some movies that I missed when they came out. Namely Ferris Bueller and Austin Powers. Yes, yes I know. How could I have not seen these movies. I never was a John Hughes fan and Ferris was okay. Maybe I had to see it back when I was a teenager to get more out of it. I'm happy I finally saw it since I know the jokes and use them. Austin Powers was better and one of these days I'll see the follow up movies.

I emailed Law girl a little message telling her I was thinking about her. I'll give her a call tonight and set something up for Wednesday or Thursday.

The Thinker

Lying around in bed thinking as I like to do on the weekend just because I can. I have to admit with Law girl I'm not nervous which is nice. The lulls bother me, but I remember when I use to have them with L. She was just la de da and they passed. It was one of the things I learned from her. Law girl said she she was shy and I think it comes out in these little things. so I thought this morning what do I want from her. There is always something in the women I date. With her I realize it's a relationship. Weird answer I know, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Now I just have to make sure that I don't force anything.

Last week I had let the Painter go. I was really getting tired of hearing how busy she was, but she did find time to do things except meet for coffee. So I just let it drop and see what would happen. It took a while and I got missive that didn't focus on how busy she is. So I responded and today she asked if tomorrow would be good to meet. She still isn't fully committing which I don't like. So we'll see.

I do want to thank Jen and Steph this morning. I didn't fully connect with Law girl last night. When this happens my minds can get screwy and I look for another connection to satisfy me. It's never healthy and usually I can work through it, but not this morning. The only reason I came on what to see if L was on. I would have pushed to connect with her today when its not the direction I want to go. So when I logged in both you ladies comments were there. It popped my bubble letting me know the reality that I wanted. Thanks.
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