Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

A New Dating Rule or Two

I did the thrift store thing today looking for new games for game night. I know like I need more freakin' games in my closet. I'm going to need a storage unit to put them all someplace. Anyway while I was browsing at all the stuff I realized that both L and the Planner dumped me after I helped move furniture into there house. They're the longest 2 relationships I've had since I've been divorced.

I think L would have dumped me a week earlier since she was hemming and hawing over should we get together. Finally she changed her mind and we went shopping for a futon for her place. After much searching we found one and I got it into her place and rearranged the furniture so it would fit. The next day would be it.

The Planner wanted some help bringing in her ottoman she had bought. I think it was sofa sectional the damn thing was so big. The next day poof. So no more moving furniture for me. If a woman I'm dating suggest it I'll just say, "no thanks, but it was nice knowing you."

The second rule which maybe harder to enforce/figure out is the saying "I love you". None of the women I've dated have said it or had any inclination of saying it. What I'm starting to think is I'm just being used for sex. I should start listening to all the advice on the bathroom walls about you ladies.

6 people had cathartic therapy:

Hey... now wait a minute, there are a few of us wonderful, caring, able to love, kind, sincere, friendly, thoughtful women out there... I just happen to be one of them. Do not give up hope, just do not say you love to move furniture.... this way your covered with the furniture moving and the I love you's.....


You give up all the power when you say "I love you" "I miss you".


I agree about your not being a mover. Maybe after you'ver been dating a year, that is okay, but in the beginning there is no point in being Mr, Helpful until they have proved they want more than just a pair of strong arms and back.

As far as the "i love you' thing... It;s just as scary for wone to wait for men to say it...

If you said it as soon as two months - and that IS soon because you really don't know someone that well yet - and they don't reciprocate and open up that they too have fallen hard and fast - it IS a red flag.

But there ARE nice women out there, just like there are nice guys. It's just rare to find them, and takes patience and caution...

A slow build-up, watching over time someone's behavior AND words, seems to be a good idea.

It won;t avoid the flakes like Planner, it'll just weed them out before you get so hurt.



Mike, I'm a long-time lurker and enjoy reading your posts. But man, you drive me nuts. Can you please use the following words correctly;

Were - past tense of "be"
We're - is a compound word, we are
There - is an adverb
Their - is an adjective
They're - is a compound word, they are

1)"move furniture into there house"
you should have used "their"

2) "Their was nothing happening outdoors today"
you should have used "there"

3) "Hey were guys"
you should have used we're

Dude, please try to be more aware of what you're trying to say....


Sunshine - I'll have to remember that.

Jen - I don't worry about giving up my power since I work at owning it by being true to myself.

Annie - thanks

Anon - Yeah I know. I just kind of explode on the page and I hate reviewing what I wrote. It's a bit selfish since I know others read it.


Ah, actually, not saying "I love you" within a couple months or so, isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could mean that they really only say it when they move to a higher level of feeling it. Heck, I haven't told E since January (um, before we dated, and it rather blurted out and I don't think he heard me). (I have joked around w/ him and mentioned, "It's b/c we all love you" which he DID notice but didn't comment on.) Maybe you fall more quickly than some others do, and that's okay. And, if a guy I was really into said, "See ya." if I asked him about helping w/ furniture, I'd be left confuzzled. At least explain it to your future honey why you're declining:)

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